- The smaller the item you are missing, the more likely you are to have placed it in the freezer or fridge when trying to placate your domicile terrorist.
- Chicken nuggets can quiet almost any tantrum.
- Diapers can be changed while standing up.
- A new car/TV/carpet/anything of value is a waste, until your toddler understands that it's not okay to just spit out whatever they are done eating because they see something tastier in the periphery.
- Pants with elastic are not helpful for losing baby weight. (Jeans with spandex worked into them fall into this sneaky category, as well as yoga pants).
- "No!" doesn't mean No, it can mean, "I would like something else to eat/do.", "I don't like that", "I see you have taken off your diaper and Mom is going to be pissed".
- Chocolate milk can buy you another 1/2 hour of shopping time.
- Getting a toddler to leave the house in a reasonable amount of time requires more preparation than a battle group deployment.
- Fork sounds a lot like another word, but don't ever try to clarify the difference.
- Things that you shout in traffic sound ridiculous when repeated in a higher octave and a slight lisp.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Lessons Learned in First Two Years of Parenthood
Posted by Starlite at 7/16/2009 10:43:00 PM