Sunday, April 5, 2009

Amen Brother

Relevant Magazine: Death to Facebook

What is the point of getting to know people in a virtual world?  I blog to send out information to new moms of multiples, friends and family.  I talk to people that I already know well...like we have some genetic traits in common or I have stalled out a tractor in their parents field.  I hate that people tell me that I "should" be on Facebook or that I "should" Twitter.  I don't think that most people care about when and how many diapers I change or when I drop off the Netflix to get new movies sent.  The people that do care, I speak to on the phone, where I can tell if they need a friend to listen to them or maybe a funny/disastrous story from my own life.  These social networking sites just put out a version of yourself to people.  You get to choose your photo from all the best that you have available, unlike what you look like in the morning before coffee.  You put out information that makes you seem witty or self-deprecating or altruistic.  What if those 25 random things lists included actually revealing things, like what you really think about most of the day.  List items that mean something, like "I yelled at my daughter because I was frustrated, not because she was being disobedient", "I have road rage", "I don't like foreign films", "If I am mad at you I will be cold just for spite".  These sites don't get information out to people that they could really use to get to know the real you in  a timely way.  They aren't revealing, they are PR.  Everyone, even in real life, projects the best version of themselves at first but as you get to really know a person, you reveal more about yourself through your actions than any Twit or online update could ever do.  Relationships are evolutions.  The longer and more closely you know someone, the more you will be able to anticipate how they will react to a situation, and how to best support them when they need you.  My family, for instance, knows more about why I am who I am and why I react in certain ways than most of my friends.  My husband knows more about my everyday, but some of my friends know more about my innermost thoughts.  I may not have 112 people that I call, "Friends" and can list them here, but the real friends that I have have been there for me when I needed them, not to show my status in a virtual advertisement for my life.  That is the beauty in having relationships.  Don't get me wrong, I like being able to keep in touch with my loved ones, and updating them on the intricacies of my military life with twins, but nothing beats hugging someone you really love.  That is why I will never replace my time I spend with my real friends, on the phone or face to face with Facebook. 

3 comments:

Amber said...

I love Facebook! And I personally know about 90% of my friends on there. The other 10% are homeschool moms that I have "met" on a message board I frequent. I don't have a lot of free time on my hands, and so most days the only "girlfriend" time I get is the twenty minutes I spend online at night. And that is fine with me. To each his own, my friend!

Starlite said...

I don't think it's a problem as a mean of communication, like email. If you know the people, then it's just updating your friends and family. I have issue with "making" friends online because you never really know if these people are being genuine or if you only know their best version of themselves. I confess to checking your blog all the time because I know that you are busy, but you don't post what you ate for lunch or when you are at Wal-mart.

Carrie Bedient said...

Awwww ur so SWEET!!!! Ya im one that would rather have u on the phone BETTER in person! BEST FRIENDS FOREVER SIS!!! oxox